12 Ways To Keep Your Marriage Happy And Healthy

Every marriage is different.  Well this is sort of an understatement.  No two marriages will EVER be alike.  However, there are some things in our marriages that stem from the Word of God that should be the same.  It's not so much what we do "to" and "for" each other, but HOW we do things "to" and "for" each other.

I found a pin (on Pinterest - I am a pinning addict.) the other night that was simply a photo with twelve "House Rules" written on it.  After a bit of thinking on these things, I realized that we could not only apply them to the house, but to our Marriages.  God's Word is stacked full of wonderful and applicable Scriptures to use in our lives, but these twelve, really set a standard for how we should live.  How we should conduct ourselves and our behavior to our Spouse.

Rule #1  -  Always Be Honest
"Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord:  but THEY that deal truly are his delight."  Proverbs 12:22  It is an absolute must that we are honest with each other, not only for our sakes, but for the sake of our marriage.  A marriage without honesty does not bring Honor, Glory or Delight to the Lord.

Rule #2  -  Count Your Many Blessings
"I will bless the Lord at all times:  his praise shall continually be in my mouth.  My soul shall make her boast in the Lord:  the humble shall hear thereof, and be glad.  O Magnify the Lord WITH ME, and LET US exalt his name together."  Psalm 34:1-3  There is nothing like spending time together Thanking God for what he has done in your marriage.  There have been too many blessings to count!  It is a huge encouragement in a marriage to hear and see your spouse Praising God!  It's hard to be angry, bitter or just distant, when you are remembering all the things God has done for you TOGETHER!

Rule #3  -  Bear One Another's Burdens
"Bear YE ONE ANOTHER'S burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ."  Galatians 6:2  It is tough to deal with a burden alone.  Yes, you give it to God, but even so, you can fill so ALONE in a trial or anything that you are going through.  Take up that burden WITH your spouse!  Let them know that you (along with them) are depending on God to help in this situation.  Let them know (yes tell them, it's not always seen) that you are praying WITH them about what's going on in their life, and that you care!

Rule #4  -  Forgive and Forget (Ouch!)
"Who is a God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity, and passeth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage?  he RETAINETH NOT his anger forever, because he delighteth in mercy."  Micah 7:18  This has got to be one of the hardest things to do in a marriage, not just a marriage, but life in general.  Our flesh is made up to retain information, emotions, and memories, that's what makes us human.  Unfortunately, with this retention, come ammunition!  Don't throw up a past transgression to your Spouse!  When we let something go and then we throw it back in their face, we are retaining that anger.  What?  Yes, because we get mad ALL OVER AGAIN!  Thanks be to God he is not like that!  Let it go! (are you singing right now? lol)  Follow God's example and delight in mercy!

Rule #5  -  Be Kind & Tenderhearted
"And be YE kind ONE TO ANOTHER, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."  Ephesians 4:32  Rule 5 is a backer for Rule 4!  Kindness and Tenderheartedness are not found in many marriages today.  Sometimes if often seems that two people are not happy unless they are cutting one another down, or coming up with some hurtful statement to make to each other.  BREAK THE MOLD!  Determine in your heart that you will be kind to each other, that you will be tenderhearted.  A tender heart and kindness will give you the strength to follow each rule with each other and not let anger and the tongue fly off the handle at home.

Rule #6  -  Comfort One Another  (wheew . . . half way through)
"Wherefore comfort ONE ANOTHER with these words."  I Thessalonians 4:18  In this passage, we know that we are to comfort one another with the words about "The Rapture", this scripture is used time after time at funerals and other tragic events to help comfort those who have lost a loved one and suffered a tragedy.  But . . . We can, at home and in our marriages comfort one another with the Word of God.  Share Scripture with your spouse when they are having a hard day, emotional issues, or are just plain down in the dumps.  Remember it says COMFORT ONE ANOTHER, don't use Scripture as a weapon.  You know what I'm talking about.  "God said . . . and you better do it or you are not right with Him!"  Don't do that!  Attacking your spouse with God and his Word will only have a negative affect and create strife, anger and bitterness.  COMFORT them in the Word of God!


Rule #7  -  Keep Your Promises
"And being fully persuaded that, what he had promised, he was able to also perform."  Romans 4:21  If I had to pick one, I'd say Rule 7 is the most broken rule in marriage (and in life).  The first promise that we make to each other, is on our wedding day.  We stand before God, his man, and our family and friend and make promises to each other!  Everyday, somewhere in the world, the Husband or the Wife breaks their first promise to the other.  DON'T break your promises!  If you promised . . .God can and will help you to keep that promise.  To a child, when someone "Pinky Promises" it's LAW!  There is no undoing it, and Lord help you if you break that promise . . . you have just committed a mortal sin in their eyes.  Look at your promises to your spouse in the same way.  Treat is as an unbreakable bond that you share.  Remember Rule 1?  If you feel yourself slipping into breaking your promise to your spouse -- tell them!  I know, you are thinking WHAT?!  Tell them, so they can help you . . . how?  By performing Rule 2.  They can bear that burden with you, and help you along with God, to keep your promise.

Rule #8  -  Support One Another
"I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye out to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive."  Acts 20:35  Here we go wives, our favorite Go-To verse when we are struggling . . . "But we're the weaker vessel!"  Yes, this is true, however, there will be times in a husband's life, where he is weak.  NO, they will never admit it (well some might).  Each of us, whether it be the Husband or the Wife, are going to have times of weakness.  Weakness in our Faith, Health, Struggles, Jobs, Ministries, Friendships and Families, weakness will come.  Don't beat your spouse down in their weakness.  God tells us to support the weak.  Be a shoulder for them to lean on, to cry on, or to just let out their frustrations (verbally, punching bags are for physical frustration relief!)  Go to the Word of God, give them your Shoulder, Time, Wisdom, and especially your Prayers.  Ladies especially, pray hard and trust that God will give you what to give your husband.  Times of weakness effect a man in a whole other way than it does us.  Be patient, longsuffering and tempered.

Rule #9  -  Look After Each Other
"For the poor shall never cease out of the land:  therefore I command thee, saying, THOU shalt open thine hand wide unto thy brother, to thy poor, and to thy needy, in the land."  Deuteronomy 15:11.  Take time each day to make sure that the needs of your spouse are being met.  My pastor always says, "If you will focus on THEIR needs, they will in in turn focus on YOURS."  Remember, poor does not always mean broke or destitute.  To be poor means to be without.  Is your spouse (who is your brother / sister in Christ if they are saved - Galatians 3:26) without something?  The feeling of being loved, affection, communication, socks?  Ask yourself this question daily, "What can I do to make sure my spouse is not without?"  Ladies if you are the Captain of the Laundry, make sure that he has what he needs in the physical world too.  Sirs, if your wife feels ignored, snuggle up next to her, remind her that you love her, why you married her.  Women are emotional things and we need that emotional feedback (whether you think we do or not!)

Rule #10  -  Be True To One Another (Prefer One Another)
"Be kindly affectioned ONE TO ANOTHER with brotherly love; in honour PREFERRING ONE ANOTHER."  Romans 12:10  Nothing can be as emotionally crippling to a marriage than thinking your spouse would prefer to spend their time with someone else, or doing something else.  Next to God, they are supposed to be your number one.  Make sure they are and MAKE SURE they know it!  Friends, Hobbies, Projects and even Family can get in between a couple.  One will always feel the other is having more fun with whatever seems to be taking them away.  Keep this in check!  Ladies if your husband enjoys doing something you hate . . . FAKE IT!  Prefer to be with them in what they are doing.  No, you may not like it, but you LOVE them, and want to see them happy with YOU.  Therefore you partake in what they are doing simply to be with them.  Sirs, if you can't do things with your wife without another couple (whether it's friends or family) being a part of it . . . MAKE YOURSELF!  I'll tell you a secret men, at times, a wife wants nothing more than to have her husband ALL TO HERSELF!  Give her this time, she prefers you above all others on earth! 

Rule #11  -  Treat Each Other Like Friends
"Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them:  for this is the law and the prophets."  Matthew 7:12  The Golden Rule:  Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  Did you know that I have never called my best friend up on the phone and fussed her out because she didn't return my text?  I also have not fussed her out for coming home (to her house) late.  We get this notion in our heads that just because we are married to someone, that we can treat them however we want.  INCORRECT  -  REMOVE THIS NOTION FROM YOUR MIND!  There should never, I repeat never, be a person on this earth that we treat better than our Spouses.  They provide for us, care for us, nurture us, and give us love that no one else can.  Hang out with your spouse, joke with your spouse . . . be their best friend!  "A friend loveth at all times . . ."  Don't treat your best girl friend better than you do your husband.  If you want them to treat you as a friend . . . you have to treat them like one!

Rule #12  -  Love One Another from the Heart
"Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that YE LOVE ONE ANOTHER with a PURE HEART fervently:"  I Peter 1:22  Fake liking his hobbies, Fake liking his friends, and sometimes we might even have to Fake liking his family, but never .... NEVER, fake loving him!  There are marriages all over the world tonight that are slap full of fake love.  Wives that don't love their husbands anymore than I love the rocks in my front yard.  Build a pure love towards your husband, a fervent love, and a love that burns for him. Circumstances can make the light of love grow dim:  Recharge those batteries!  Pray and ask God to give you a PURE love for your husband like you've never known before.  If we love our husbands, with a Pure Love, Rules 1-11 will come naturally!  Eventually, there will be nothing to fake (if you are faking)  you will be purely in love with all aspects of your husband.  It will be natural to tell him the truth, count the blessings of God, bear his burdens, forgive (and forget) his transgressions, be kind and tenderhearted to him, comfort him, keep your promises to him, support him, look after him, be true to him, and treat him like your best friend in the world . . . why?  Because your love for him will be a PURE LOVE!  A love that will know no bounds, that can stand the test of time and the temptations of Satan.  A love that God wants you to have toward your husband.

I'd love to know your thoughts.  What are some things you are doing in your marriage to keep its happiness and health alive?

Posted In: Wife-ing