12 Ways To Keep Your Marriage Happy And Healthy

Every marriage is different.  Well this is sort of an understatement.  No two marriages will EVER be alike.  However, there are some things in our marriages that stem from the Word of God that should be the same.  It's not so much what we do "to" and "for" each other, but HOW we do things "to" and "for" each other.

I found a pin (on Pinterest - I am a pinning addict.) the other night that was simply a photo with twelve "House Rules" written on it.  After a bit of thinking on these things, I realized that we could not only apply them to the house, but to our Marriages.  God's Word is stacked full of wonderful and applicable Scriptures to use in our lives, but these twelve, really set a standard for how we should live.  How we should conduct ourselves and our behavior to our Spouse.

Rule #1  -  Always Be Honest
"Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord:  but THEY that deal truly are his delight."  Proverbs 12:22  It is an absolute must that we are honest with each other, not only for our sakes, but for the sake of our marriage.  A marriage without honesty does not bring Honor, Glory or Delight to the Lord.

Rule #2  -  Count Your Many Blessings
"I will bless the Lord at all times:  his praise shall continually be in my mouth.  My soul shall make her boast in the Lord:  the humble shall hear thereof, and be glad.  O Magnify the Lord WITH ME, and LET US exalt his name together."  Psalm 34:1-3  There is nothing like spending time together Thanking God for what he has done in your marriage.  There have been too many blessings to count!  It is a huge encouragement in a marriage to hear and see your spouse Praising God!  It's hard to be angry, bitter or just distant, when you are remembering all the things God has done for you TOGETHER!

Rule #3  -  Bear One Another's Burdens
"Bear YE ONE ANOTHER'S burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ."  Galatians 6:2  It is tough to deal with a burden alone.  Yes, you give it to God, but even so, you can fill so ALONE in a trial or anything that you are going through.  Take up that burden WITH your spouse!  Let them know that you (along with them) are depending on God to help in this situation.  Let them know (yes tell them, it's not always seen) that you are praying WITH them about what's going on in their life, and that you care!

Rule #4  -  Forgive and Forget (Ouch!)
"Who is a God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity, and passeth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage?  he RETAINETH NOT his anger forever, because he delighteth in mercy."  Micah 7:18  This has got to be one of the hardest things to do in a marriage, not just a marriage, but life in general.  Our flesh is made up to retain information, emotions, and memories, that's what makes us human.  Unfortunately, with this retention, come ammunition!  Don't throw up a past transgression to your Spouse!  When we let something go and then we throw it back in their face, we are retaining that anger.  What?  Yes, because we get mad ALL OVER AGAIN!  Thanks be to God he is not like that!  Let it go! (are you singing right now? lol)  Follow God's example and delight in mercy!

Rule #5  -  Be Kind & Tenderhearted
"And be YE kind ONE TO ANOTHER, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."  Ephesians 4:32  Rule 5 is a backer for Rule 4!  Kindness and Tenderheartedness are not found in many marriages today.  Sometimes if often seems that two people are not happy unless they are cutting one another down, or coming up with some hurtful statement to make to each other.  BREAK THE MOLD!  Determine in your heart that you will be kind to each other, that you will be tenderhearted.  A tender heart and kindness will give you the strength to follow each rule with each other and not let anger and the tongue fly off the handle at home.

Rule #6  -  Comfort One Another  (wheew . . . half way through)
"Wherefore comfort ONE ANOTHER with these words."  I Thessalonians 4:18  In this passage, we know that we are to comfort one another with the words about "The Rapture", this scripture is used time after time at funerals and other tragic events to help comfort those who have lost a loved one and suffered a tragedy.  But . . . We can, at home and in our marriages comfort one another with the Word of God.  Share Scripture with your spouse when they are having a hard day, emotional issues, or are just plain down in the dumps.  Remember it says COMFORT ONE ANOTHER, don't use Scripture as a weapon.  You know what I'm talking about.  "God said . . . and you better do it or you are not right with Him!"  Don't do that!  Attacking your spouse with God and his Word will only have a negative affect and create strife, anger and bitterness.  COMFORT them in the Word of God!


Rule #7  -  Keep Your Promises
"And being fully persuaded that, what he had promised, he was able to also perform."  Romans 4:21  If I had to pick one, I'd say Rule 7 is the most broken rule in marriage (and in life).  The first promise that we make to each other, is on our wedding day.  We stand before God, his man, and our family and friend and make promises to each other!  Everyday, somewhere in the world, the Husband or the Wife breaks their first promise to the other.  DON'T break your promises!  If you promised . . .God can and will help you to keep that promise.  To a child, when someone "Pinky Promises" it's LAW!  There is no undoing it, and Lord help you if you break that promise . . . you have just committed a mortal sin in their eyes.  Look at your promises to your spouse in the same way.  Treat is as an unbreakable bond that you share.  Remember Rule 1?  If you feel yourself slipping into breaking your promise to your spouse -- tell them!  I know, you are thinking WHAT?!  Tell them, so they can help you . . . how?  By performing Rule 2.  They can bear that burden with you, and help you along with God, to keep your promise.

Rule #8  -  Support One Another
"I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye out to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive."  Acts 20:35  Here we go wives, our favorite Go-To verse when we are struggling . . . "But we're the weaker vessel!"  Yes, this is true, however, there will be times in a husband's life, where he is weak.  NO, they will never admit it (well some might).  Each of us, whether it be the Husband or the Wife, are going to have times of weakness.  Weakness in our Faith, Health, Struggles, Jobs, Ministries, Friendships and Families, weakness will come.  Don't beat your spouse down in their weakness.  God tells us to support the weak.  Be a shoulder for them to lean on, to cry on, or to just let out their frustrations (verbally, punching bags are for physical frustration relief!)  Go to the Word of God, give them your Shoulder, Time, Wisdom, and especially your Prayers.  Ladies especially, pray hard and trust that God will give you what to give your husband.  Times of weakness effect a man in a whole other way than it does us.  Be patient, longsuffering and tempered.

Rule #9  -  Look After Each Other
"For the poor shall never cease out of the land:  therefore I command thee, saying, THOU shalt open thine hand wide unto thy brother, to thy poor, and to thy needy, in the land."  Deuteronomy 15:11.  Take time each day to make sure that the needs of your spouse are being met.  My pastor always says, "If you will focus on THEIR needs, they will in in turn focus on YOURS."  Remember, poor does not always mean broke or destitute.  To be poor means to be without.  Is your spouse (who is your brother / sister in Christ if they are saved - Galatians 3:26) without something?  The feeling of being loved, affection, communication, socks?  Ask yourself this question daily, "What can I do to make sure my spouse is not without?"  Ladies if you are the Captain of the Laundry, make sure that he has what he needs in the physical world too.  Sirs, if your wife feels ignored, snuggle up next to her, remind her that you love her, why you married her.  Women are emotional things and we need that emotional feedback (whether you think we do or not!)

Rule #10  -  Be True To One Another (Prefer One Another)
"Be kindly affectioned ONE TO ANOTHER with brotherly love; in honour PREFERRING ONE ANOTHER."  Romans 12:10  Nothing can be as emotionally crippling to a marriage than thinking your spouse would prefer to spend their time with someone else, or doing something else.  Next to God, they are supposed to be your number one.  Make sure they are and MAKE SURE they know it!  Friends, Hobbies, Projects and even Family can get in between a couple.  One will always feel the other is having more fun with whatever seems to be taking them away.  Keep this in check!  Ladies if your husband enjoys doing something you hate . . . FAKE IT!  Prefer to be with them in what they are doing.  No, you may not like it, but you LOVE them, and want to see them happy with YOU.  Therefore you partake in what they are doing simply to be with them.  Sirs, if you can't do things with your wife without another couple (whether it's friends or family) being a part of it . . . MAKE YOURSELF!  I'll tell you a secret men, at times, a wife wants nothing more than to have her husband ALL TO HERSELF!  Give her this time, she prefers you above all others on earth! 

Rule #11  -  Treat Each Other Like Friends
"Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them:  for this is the law and the prophets."  Matthew 7:12  The Golden Rule:  Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  Did you know that I have never called my best friend up on the phone and fussed her out because she didn't return my text?  I also have not fussed her out for coming home (to her house) late.  We get this notion in our heads that just because we are married to someone, that we can treat them however we want.  INCORRECT  -  REMOVE THIS NOTION FROM YOUR MIND!  There should never, I repeat never, be a person on this earth that we treat better than our Spouses.  They provide for us, care for us, nurture us, and give us love that no one else can.  Hang out with your spouse, joke with your spouse . . . be their best friend!  "A friend loveth at all times . . ."  Don't treat your best girl friend better than you do your husband.  If you want them to treat you as a friend . . . you have to treat them like one!

Rule #12  -  Love One Another from the Heart
"Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that YE LOVE ONE ANOTHER with a PURE HEART fervently:"  I Peter 1:22  Fake liking his hobbies, Fake liking his friends, and sometimes we might even have to Fake liking his family, but never .... NEVER, fake loving him!  There are marriages all over the world tonight that are slap full of fake love.  Wives that don't love their husbands anymore than I love the rocks in my front yard.  Build a pure love towards your husband, a fervent love, and a love that burns for him. Circumstances can make the light of love grow dim:  Recharge those batteries!  Pray and ask God to give you a PURE love for your husband like you've never known before.  If we love our husbands, with a Pure Love, Rules 1-11 will come naturally!  Eventually, there will be nothing to fake (if you are faking)  you will be purely in love with all aspects of your husband.  It will be natural to tell him the truth, count the blessings of God, bear his burdens, forgive (and forget) his transgressions, be kind and tenderhearted to him, comfort him, keep your promises to him, support him, look after him, be true to him, and treat him like your best friend in the world . . . why?  Because your love for him will be a PURE LOVE!  A love that will know no bounds, that can stand the test of time and the temptations of Satan.  A love that God wants you to have toward your husband.

I'd love to know your thoughts.  What are some things you are doing in your marriage to keep its happiness and health alive?

Posted In: Wife-ing

4 Things We Should Be Doing Daily As Christians

I see more and more that Christianity is becoming a Sunday Morning affair.  Christians everywhere get up, get dressed, grab their Bibles (if they are not holding a pew for them at church), and head out the door to get their "Church" on.  After a fired up or watered down message, they return home, hang their Christian in the closet with their coat, and return to life as they know it.  THIS IS BECOMING NORMAL!  This is NOT how Christ intends for us to live our Christian lives.  Before you ask, YES!  I am guilty of taking my Christian off at times too.

Christ worked his ministry "daily."  Every day he was doing something, somewhere, with and for someone.  I searched "daily" in the Scriptures.  Here are four things we can do, try, and hopefully succeed in keeping our Christian on DAILY!

Are yo doing these 4 things daily?

1.   Denying Ourselves
This is hard for anyone, devout Christian or newby!  The statement goes, "Nobody is going to love you like... YOU DO!"  It's true, we love ourselves the most.  God knew and still knows that this is difficult, but apparently it's not UN-doable.  Jesus Christ explains that we CAN do it, if we want to follow him. "And he said unto them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross DAILY, and follow me." {Luke 9:23} It would stand to reason that if we can pick up our cross, we can surely lay it down as well.  This is what is happeneing all over America and the world.  Christians are getting tired and they are laying their crosses down until the appropriate "day" to pick them up.  Make tomorrow all about HIM!  Try it, just for ONE day, you may find it easier and more likeable than you would think.

2.   Talking With The Lord
David said, "Be merciful unto me, O Lord:  for I cry unto thee DAILY."  {Psalm 86:3}  There is no way to have a developed and following relationship with God and the Lord Jesus Christ without talking to them!  We want God to talk to us, to show us things and to answer all our needs, but we don't want to take the time to chat.  Chat with God tomorrow!  Give him a few minutes of your day - if you are struggling with what to pray about, here is something I've done that has really helped me.  MAKE A LIST OF EVERYONE IN YOUR FAMILY - could be immediate or the entire thing (if you know them).  Call their names out before God and ask him to supply their needs according to his will.  They could use it!

3.   Feeding Ourselves
Some crosses are laid down and then there are those that just cannot be held up anymore.  Christians all over the world are spiritually dying from STARVATION!  I'm not talking about malnutrition, I am talking about Spiritual Food.  When Jesus is teaching the disciples to pray, he prays for something specific, "Give us this day our daily bread."  {Matthew 6:11}  Yes, we should eat physical food, but if you are denying your spirit it's food, then you will eventually if not already, DIE FROM STARVATION.  Jesus Christ tells Satan in Matthew chapter four, "...Man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God." {Matthew 4:4}  In order for us to be able to thrive as Christians Daily we have to eat.  Have a Spiritual Buffet tomorrow!  Again, try it just for one day, God will speak to you, minister to you, and fill you with his word!

4.   Learning Something
The Scriptures tell us that DAILY Jesus was in the temple teaching.  Daily . . . if Christ taught the people daily, that must mean that we need to be learning daily!  "I was daily with you in the temple teaching..." {Mark 14:49}  No, you don't need to go to church daily!  There are other ways to learn about Jesus.  First, how do we even learn about Jesus?  Through Preaching and Teaching!  "And DAILY in the temple, and in every house, they ceased not to teach and preach Jesus Christ."  {Acts 5:42}  They were preaching it daily, someone was learning it daily!  Be the someone LEARNING about Christ tomorrow!  Grab you a YouTube Video, or a Sermon off the internet and learn about Christ.  Listen to a sermon ONE day, outside of church, and see if you feel like holding that cross up just a little longer.

Is It Right To Judge? A Biblically Sound Answer

I came across this a while back, and could not help but share.  It never fails, at least once a week, I get on Facebook and read the fatal words, "Judge not, lest ye be judged!"  Now I am NOT knocking that the Bible says that, because it does.  However, there are many more Scriptures that discuss judging and how a Christian, Child of God and Bible Believer are to conduct their judging.  I am sharing this word for word, because anything I could add to it, would simply be pointless.  I will give credit, where credit is due.  Pastor, James L. Melton, Bible Baptist Church, Sharon, Tennessee expounds on judging in his tract, Is It Right To Judge?

God's Word on Judging


How many times have you heard someone whine, "Judge not, that ye be not judged?" This verse of Scripture from Matthew 7:1 is often quoted out of context by people who are terrified at the idea of someone preaching against sin or pointing out any form of error in anyone, especially in themselves.

As I stood in a voting line one day I overheard a woman justifying her foolish choice for president by saying, "Well, we aren't supposed to judge." Imagine that! Choosing NOT to judge a political candidate on election day! No wonder our nation is in such a mess!

As for Matthew 7:1, the context (verses 1-5) allows judging after you have first judged YOURSELF. Jesus did not make a blanket statement against judgment. He simply pointed out a RULE for judging.

Now, the word "judge" in its various forms (judgeth, judging, judgment, judges, etc) is found over 700 times in God's word. One whole book of the Bible is titled "Judges" for it was written at a time when God raised up judges to lead His people.

As we are about to see, God EXPECTS His people to judge. In fact, you are sinning against God if you refuse to judge! (Read that again, please)

God Expects Us to Judge

"The mouth of the righteous speaketh wisdom, and his tongue talketh of judgment." (Psa. 37:30) A righteous person will talk of judgment. He will not REFUSE to judge. He will talk judgment.

"Seek good, and not evil, that ye may live: and so the LORD, the God of hosts, shall be with you, as ye have spoken. Hate the evil, and love the good, and establish judgment in the gate: it may be that the LORD God of hosts will be gracious unto the remnant of Joseph." (Amos 5:14-15) How can you hate the evil and love the good if you refuse to judge? You can't. You are SINNING when you refuse to judge.

Our generation is well described in Isaiah 59:8: "The way of peace they know not; and there is no judgment in their goings: they have made them crooked paths: whosoever goeth therein shall not know peace." People have refused to judge, so there is no peace.

Paul said in I Corinthians 1:10 to ". . . be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment." Why would Paul make such a statement if judging is wrong? In I Corinthians 2:15 Paul says, "But he that is spiritual judgeth all things, yet he himself is judged of no man." Judging is not a sin; judging is a characteristic of being a spiritual person! Satan has been lying to us, hoping that we will NOT judge, because he knows that the right kind of judgment PLEASES God and betters our lives and Christian service.

Someone says, "But should we judge PEOPLE?" Yes, we certainly should. Paul actually REBUKES the Corinthians for NOT judging: "Dare any of you, having a matter against another, go to law before the unjust, and not before the saints? Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters? Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life? If then ye have judgments of things pertaining to this life, set them to judge who are least esteemed in the church. I speak to your shame. Is it so, that there is not a wise man among you? no, not one that shall be able to judge between his brethren?" (I Cor. 6:1-5) If judging is wrong, then Paul needs to confess and repent for misleading these Christians! He clearly told them to JUDGE PEOPLE.

If judging people is wrong, how can we obey Romans 16:17-18? II Corinthians 6:17? II Timothy 3:5-6? I John 4:1? Friend, if judging is wrong, then God has contradicted Himself and His words cannot be trusted!

Notice Malachi 3:18: "Then shall ye return, and discern between the righteous and the wicked, between him that serveth God and him that serveth him not." WOW! Does that sound like it is wrong to judge?

What about Revelation 2:2? " I know thy works, and thy labour, and thy patience, and how thou canst not bear them which are evil: and thou hast tried them which say they are apostles, and are not, and hast found them liars:" Why would the Lord be pleased with these Christians if judging was wrong? Is it not impossible to find someone a "liar" without judging them?

If the Bible is clear about anything, it is clear about the importance of judging on a regular basis in order to properly serve and honor God. To ignore this fact is to ignore all of the Scripture just presented and also the rest of the Bible. God expects us to judge.

God's Rules for Judging

Now I do not wish to imply that we should spend all of our time judging. Sometimes people judge when they have no business doing so. In John 7:24 Jesus tells us to judge RIGHTEOUS judgment. This can only be done by following the rules that God has established in His word. Here follow seven good rules from Scripture:

Judge Scripturally

Isaiah 8:20 says, "To the law and to the testimony: if they speak not according to this word, it is because there is no light in them." Our standard is God's word, not our feelings, our traditions, or our opinions. Right and wrong should always be determined by God's word.

Don't Judge When God's Word Is Silent

If God's word is silent about a subject, then you may not have to judge at all. Don't rush to judgment on an issue when the Bible says very little or is silent about it. Don't make more of a matter than God makes of it. A good example of this is found in Colossians 2:16: "Let no man therefore judge you in meat, or in drink, or in respect of an holyday, or of the new moon, or of the sabbath days:" That is, these are not subjects of great importance today, so let's not make these great issues of judgment.

Pray for Good Judgement Ability

When Solomon received his kingdom he asked God to "Give therefore thy servant an understanding heart to judge thy people, that I may discern between good and bad: for who is able to judge this thy so great a people?" (I Kings 3:9) James 1:5 says, "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him." We should pray for good judgment ability.

Don't Respect Persons

Proverbs 24:23 says, "These things also belong to the wise. It is not good to have respect of persons in judgment." Treat all parties fairly without favoring anyone, such as family members or friends. A truly fair judge is blind and deaf to any outer influence. (Isa. 42:1, 19-21)

Judge in Truth

Do not judge another when you do not have all the relevant facts. Jeremiah 5:1 says, "Run ye to and fro through the streets of Jerusalem, and see now, and know, and seek in the broad places thereof, if ye can find a man, if there be any that executeth judgment, that seeketh the truth; and I will pardon it." A true judge is one who seeks the truth. If you must judge, be sure and get all the facts. A Japanese proverb says to "search seven times before you judge."

Judge Mercifully

Remember the words of Jesus in Matthew 7:2: "For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again." You'll reap what you sow (Gal. 6:7-8). If you are swift and harsh in judging others, then God will see to it that you receive the same from others. Has God not been very merciful to you, even though you deserved it not? Likewise, you should exercise mercy toward others.

Don't Forget to Judge Yourself

I Corinthians 11:30-31: "For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and many sleep. For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged." If you are a true Christian, then you belong to God. You are God's child. If you refuse to judge and improve yourself as a child of God, then God will take it upon Himself to judge you. Many of the troubles that we face in life are nothing more than God's way of judging us since we often neglect to judge ourselves.

Wouldn't it be amazing if every Christian actually took time to judge themselves before judging anyone else? In Matthew 7:4-5, Jesus says, " Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye." A good judge will not fail to judge himself.

Monday     :|:     June 6, 2017     :|:     Posted in Walking Worthy