More Ways A Wife Can Minister To Her Husband

I am still in such amazement that we get to Minister to our families.  Now, I know that the title of this post is "She Ministered (at home)" but, Ministering to your husband or family does not come with a preset location.  We should never pass up the opportunity to Minister.  Our husbands should never feel as though they need to seek Ministering from any other person, if we are around and able to do so. 

Before we dive into Ministering in the Verb, let's take a quick recap of the definitions of Minister, given to us in the Webster's 1828 Dictionary.

Minister, noun Properly, a chief servant; hence an agent appointed to transact or manage business under the authority of another; in which sense, it is a word of very extensive application.  One to whom a king or prince entrusts the direction of affairs of state; a minister of state; the prime minister in modern governments, the secretaries or head of several departments or branches of government are ministers of the chief magistrate.

Minister, verb To attend and serve; to perform service in any office, sacred or secular.  To afford supplies; to give things needful; to supply the means of relief; to relieve.  To give medicines.

More Ways To Minister At Home

Using Peter's Mother-In-Law and the Aged Women

Peter's mother-in-law is a great example of a woman who ministers in her home.  I guess you could call her a "Miracle Minister" of her home.  (I'll list the verses below in a moment), When Jesus entered into Peter's house, he found this woman, very sick.  She had a fever and could not even get out of bed.  Jesus had compassion on her, and healed her.  Now, If I was sick and Jesus healed me, I would probably be glued to him, not caring what was going on with the rest of my house, I mean, Hey, the guy who just saved my life is standing in my living room, right?  Wrong!  This woman, immediately after she is healed, gets up an MINISTERS to THEM.  She did not just minister to Jesus, but she ministered to all the people in her house.  What a woman!  Her story can be found in three of the gospels, Matthew, Mark and Luke.

"But Simon's wife's mother lay sick of fever, and anon they tell him of her.  And he came and took her by the hand, and lifted her up; and immediately the fever left her, and she ministered unto them."  Mark 1:30-31  {Also see, Matthew 8:14-15 & Luke 4:38-39}

The Entire Definition
I know for a lot of women, the idea of being a "servant" to her husband or family, might turn their stomachs a little.  We live in a society where we are taught to first and foremost take care of #1!  But the Minister of her home, does attend and serve, not as a slave or hired worker, but as a loving and caring Godly woman.  God gives us a direct example of what it is to Attend and Serve as a minister in the home.  In Titus chapter 2, he gives the curriculum for what the Aged Woman should do and teach.  Now, we all know that actions speak so much louder than words, so the best way for her (and us, when we reach this point) to teach these things is TO BE LIVING THEM HERSELF.  By putting these Scriptures into practice, we will be not only serving as an example to teach others, but we will be serving a Minister in our home! 

"The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober; to love their husbands; to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."  Titus 2:3-5

Have Holy Behaviour
When we are Ministering at home, we are performing a service.  Supplying what our husband (and families) need and want.  Our behaviour, believe it or not, will determine whether we are Ministering or Working.  The Aged Woman's behaviour was to be "as becometh holiness."  I don't think she shoved her husband out of the way when he came home from work to continue her business.  Kindness is a trait of holiness.  Be kind to him when he gets home.  I know, bad days come, (I had one today,) but when my husband came through the door, I tried my very best to be pleasant and kind.  I didn't throw his plate on the table loudly and scream, "Dinner's Ready!" at the top of my lungs.  He didn't make my day bad, all he did was go to work to provide for our home.

Tame The Tongue
Okay, so I have a bit of a problem with this.  My husband has said this statement to me more times than I'd like to admit, "I didn't say that, don't put words in my mouth!"  The tongue (mouth) is the most dangerous part of our bodies.  God even tells us so in his word.  "Thou lovest all devouring words, O thou deceitful tongue."  Psalm 52:4  "But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison."  James 3:8  I think it's safe to say, that the tongue is pretty dangerous.  It is especially dangerous to our husbands.  A Ministering wife, will not falsely accuse her husband.  I've known women that as soon as their husband walks in the door, they start.  More marriages have been destroyed by a wife accusing her husband of constantly cheating (when he was not).  This is what my husband told me about this, he said, "You know, if you keep saying, all you are doing is making me think it." (Probably not the exact words, it's been a while, but the point is clear.  When we accuse our husbands of doing something they are not, not only are we falsely accusing them, but we are in fact putting a thought into their head that the devil can grab and run with!

Teach Good Things
Believe it or not, but the first two come into play here also.  By how we act and what we say, we are teaching our husbands.  What in the world are we teaching them, you ask?  We are teaching them how we respond to God and his Word.  If a woman can help her husband turn to Jesus by her conversation (I Peter 3:1), surely this can work in the opposite way.  God looks at our conversation as more than what we say, it's how we act and behave ourselves.  When your husband is doing his best in the Lord, going to church, feeding off the preaching, getting in his Bible and learning the Word of God... teach him that you are doing the same.  Put what you are learning into practice.  This will teach your husband that you are growing in the Lord and feeding off the preaching and learning the Word of God.  If you are one of the many women in the world who's husband does not come to church with her, teach him what you are learning through your actions (don't come home and preach it to him - please!) . . . It's a proven fact this can work to help your husband turn to Jesus or start coming to church again.  "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, THEY ALSO MAY WITHOUT WORD BE WON BY THE CONVERSATION OF THE WIVES;

Exercise Soberness (that has nothing to do with drinking)
It goes without saying that we should not be sauced, but being sober in God's eyes has a whole other meaning.  Be stable, alert, paying attention, mindful, and aware of what is going on.  A sober minded Minister at home, can aid in preventing unfortunate things in the home.  Who we let in our homes, What we let in our homes, and When we let it in our homes, can all play in the factors of disaster.  God tells us why we should be Sober Ministers in our homes.  "Be SOBER, be vigilant; BECAUSE your adversary THE DEVIL, as a roaring lion; WALKETH about, SEEKING whom he may devour:" I Peter 5:8  Satan would love nothing more than for you to get cloudy minded with the cares of this world.  Be a Sober Minister, know what's going on, how it's effecting your husband (and family) and who (God or the Devil) will benefit from what's going on.

Love Him
It's a proven fact that nobody will ever love us, like we do!  "For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:" Ephesians 5:29  This Scripture is discussing the husband and wife relationship in Ephesians 5, but it rings true in all aspects!  Minister to your husband by loving him... LIKE YOU LOVE YOURSELF!  See to his needs, wants, and desires.  Comfort is fears, losses and concerns.  Listen to his problems, work day, and stories.  Pray for his walk with God, ministry, job, travel, and his safety.  All the things that you want your husband to do for you - do for him.  It's The Golden Rule:  DO UNTO OTHERS, AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU.  Which stems from the Scriptures that Jesus spoke in Matthew 7:12, "Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them:  for this is the law and the prophets."  LOVE is described as a feeling, but it is given in an action.

Three Ways A Wife Can Minister To Her Husband

I recently noticed a pattern in the Scriptures.  There are so many different roles that people play throughout the Bible.  You have Masters and Servants, Husbands and Wives, Parents and Children, these are the obvious roles that you expect to find in the Scriptures.  God has also put in Church Leadership Roles . . . Pastors and Deacons, Bishops and Teachers.  One role that apparently I have overlooked while reading the the role of Ministers and exactly what they do.  According to Noah Webster's 1828 Dictionary, ministers have a very important place in society (I'll list the definitions of a Minister in a moment).  Not only in society, but also in the Word of God.  Their job is different than any other.  But one thing I have noticed in the Scriptures is this . . . Women can and do minister!

Minister, noun Properly, a chief servant; hence an agent appointed to transact or manager business under the authority of another; in which sense, it it a word of very extensive application.  One to whom a king or prince entrusts the direction of affairs of state; as minister of state; the prime minister in modern governments, the secretaries or head of several departments or branches of government are the ministers of the chief magistrate.

Minister, verb To attend and serve; to perform service in any office, sacred or secular.  To afford supplies; to give things needful; to supply the means of relief; to relieve.  To give medicines.

Looking at the definition of a Minister, we can see that woman can and mostly do fall into this category in the ministry.  Let's break it down a bit and see just how God wants us to be Ministers to his service, in our homes.

Using the Proverbs 31 Woman

Be A Chief Servant
What is a Chief Servant?  The Chief Servant in a home (where there are other servants - and your husband is also a servant to God) is the one responsible for making sure the jobs given by the "master" are completed.  Now I know what you are thinking, "Well she is just telling me to be a slave to my husband!"  No, I am not.  A Chief Servant, gets a lot more "perks" than the others.  By Ministering to your husband a a Chief Servant, you are making sure that all the things he NEEDS to get done, get done!  Why does this matter?  Because, you want your husband to trust you, completing the small things he asks you do do, will strengthen his trust in you, and those small things soon become bigger and better responsibilities.  "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.  She will do him good and not evil ALL THE DAYS of her life." Proverbs 31:11-12

Manage the Business End
A home in many ways does work like a business.  Income come in and Income goes out.  Seems like more goes out than comes in most times!  But thank God he always provides.  Ministering through the business end of your home will allow your husband to have more time to focus on being at home.  In our house, and I know not everyone works this way, my husband handles our finances.  I kept messing it up (terrible with money).  But he does tell me what needs to be paid, and when it needs to be paid, as well as what needs to be bought and when we have the money to buy it.  While he is working, that is what he needs to be focused on, being the best employee he can be, he does not need to be stressing over whether or not we have groceries or the mortgage was paid.  These are the tasks that have been given to me to perform.  By the authority of another (the one who makes the money), I have been given the authority to spend it accordingly.  "She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.  She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.  She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens."  Proverbs 31:13-15

Be Trusted with Your Affairs
I don't think there is anything worse than a woman who tells ALL her business in her marriage.  Yes, we have friends, and yes we can talk to them . . . but there are some things that should stay private.  One thing that I think is shared entirely too much, is what goes on in the bedroom!  This is the one place that you husband can be exactly who he wants to be with you, IT'S PRIVATE!  If it were not supposed to be private, the Lord would have told us about sharing that information.  But no . . . Discretion is the word of the day.  "Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land."  Proverbs 31:23  Women that know too much about your husband, will not respect him like they should.  Church is his gate, the brethren are his elders and he is known there.  Let's make sure that he is known for the things that will bring honor and glory to God . . . not the things that make him look like anything less than a Christian.  Keeping your home affairs private will build a trust in your marriage, your home and your friendships.  People will automatically know, you are not going to bash, disrespect or talk about your husband inappropriately!

A little Disclaimer:  As I have stated before, I am not a "Super Saint!"  There are areas that we have discussed today, that I have fallen short in.  But, I believe that through prayer, God's Word, and a little bit of effort, we can all become the Ministers in our homes that will bring Honor and Glory to God and please our husbands.

May 5, 2017     :|:     Posted in Wife-ing

God's Benefits For The Barren Wife

Monday     :|:     May 9, 2015     :|:     Wife-ing

As a society, a wife is measured by many things:  how she keeps her house, her clothes, her car, her attitude, Facebook posts and many more.  One major thing wives seem to be measured by are their children.  I am constantly viewing blogs on Pinterest that have to do with being a "Godly Wife" and at the very top of the list is how you relate your children with your husband.  I believe these are very important things, don't get me wrong, but . . . what if you are not like other wives?  What if you don't have or cannot conceive children?  Does this make you less of a wife in God's eyes?  How about the eyes of the world? See, there are many, many questions that derive from putting a wife and mother in the same category boat.

What does it take to be a mother?  There is only one requirement or supply that a woman needs to be a mother... CHILDREN.  Whether they belong to them biologically, through adoption, or via the step parent relationship...  children are pretty much a must have to be a mother. 

What does it take to be a wife?  Again, there is only one requirement or supply that a woman needs to be a wife... A HUSBAND.  Whether she be a good wife or a bad wife, she cannot be either one without first having a husband.

Now, looking at the requirements and supplies to be a mother and a wife, we see that a woman who has a Husband (and is the wife), and children becomes a mother.  It's simple... I know.  But a woman who has a husband (this makes her a wife) and has no children, in fact, is not and cannot be, a mother.  So it would make sense, to host a huge variety of "Godly Wife (without children)" material in the world.  This does not happen, somehow, it always comes across as if you are a Wife, you MUST eventually become a mother.

What if you CAN'T?  Most women who don't become mothers, don't by choice.  What if you have no choice?  The body is effected by so many variables in life, that there can and are inherited and physical infirmities that cause a woman not to be able to have children.  These women, usually are the ones who so desperately want to make that leap from just being someone's wife, to being someone's mother.  The Bible refers to the women who can't have children as being Barren.

The Barren woman, that wants children so bad, she's almost willing to do anything, has to depend on God's Daily Load of Benefits more and more.  There is nowhere in the world you can go that does not have children in it.  If a drunk is freed from his stumbling block, he has an out.  Don't go where there is alcohol.  If a drug addict is freed from his stumbling block, the same out applies, don't go where the drugs are.  But if a woman, who is stumbled by not having children, what is her out?  Everywhere you go, there are children.  A constant reminder of the one thing you want to do, and can't.  Here are your Daily Load of Benefits from God's Word.

Be Mindful . . . Satan WILL Use It Against You!
"He evil entreateth the barren that beareth not..." {Job 24:21}  If anyone can tell us the evils of Satan, it's Job.  He knew that the devil would use the desire of our hearts and the infirmities of our bodies to turn us against the things of God.  "God, it's not fair!" "Why won't God give me..."  I know I have uttered those words when Satan has come knocking on my Barren door.  Not only will he try to turn you against God, but God's people!  So be mindful how you deal with your emotional responses to Satan's entreating.

Be Satisfied . . . Say It Is Enough!
"The horseleach hath two daughters, crying, Give, give.  There are three things that are never satisfied,  yea, four things say not, It is enough:  The grave; and the barren womb; the earth that is not filled with water; and the fire that saith not, It is enough."  {Proverbs 30:15-16}  Satisfaction, is not just a song to be sung.  We need to realize that what we are given NOW, It Is Enough!  If God has not seen fit, to bless you with children, be satisfied.  A person who is never satisfied with what they are given, makes for a dismal companion.  Men do not have the desire to "birth" something, it's just not in them.  They are the providers.  They want to supply all your needs with God's help.  An unsatisfied Barren woman, is constantly making her husband fell like he's not doing, being, or giving enough.

Be Thankful . . . Some Have It Worse!
"Sing, O barren, thou that didst not bear; break forth into singing, and cry aloud, thou that didst not travail with child:  for more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife, saith the Lord." {Isaiah 54:1}  "For it is written, Rejoice, thou barren that bearest not; break for and cry, thou that travailest not:  for the desolate hath many more children than she which hath an husband."  {Galatians 4:27}  This is not a new concept to God, the childless wife.  It is also not new to God that there are children who are not taken care of, both physically and spiritually.  A mother who cannot provide food for her hungry children, is a mother who carries a broken heart.  She is made desolate, by not being able to give her children what they need.  And YES!  There are more children in the world that are going without, than those who cannot have children.  In the state of America, so many live in desolation everyday.  So it would not be wrong, (apparently because God said it) to be Thankful that you do not have children that you cannot provide, care, minister and mother.  I should think it would be better to never have, than to have and not be able to care for.   "For, behold, the days are coming, in which they shall say, Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bare, and the paps which never gave suck."  {Luke 23:29}

Be Hopeful . . . Don't Stop Praying!
"And they had no child, because that Elisabeth was barren, and they both were not well stricken in years."  {Luke 1:7}  "And behold, they cousin Elisabeth, she hath also conceived a son in her old age:  and this is the six month with her, WHO WAS CALLED BARREN."  {Luke 1:36}  Elisabeth, Hannah, Sarah and probably countless others who are not mentioned in Scripture, were in the same state as us.  They didn't give up hope, they continued on . . . AND GOD BLESSED THEM TO BECOME MOTHERS!!

God knew there would be childless wives, that is why he prepared in His Word, how to cope with such a state as this.  Whether it be an infirmity, timing, or a completely unexplained reason for no children, God still has a purpose for you.  Don't let this one thing (though it is a BIG thing) stunt your growth and Spiritual walk with God.  That is your purpose, His plan, and your greatest blessing!

POST UPDATE 05/08/2016

In April 2015, when I originally wrote this post, I was at the end of my tether.  God was not answering my prayers for children and I was done!  After reading the Scriptures that I posted above the Lord spoke to me and said, "Am I enough?"  "Can you serve me if I never give you children?"  Taking some time to think it over, I realized . . . YES!  God is enough, and YES!  I can and will serve him.  After making this decision, I stopped thinking about having children.  God was enough (and he still is).  Fourteen days later, my husband and I were approached and asked to adopt our daughters.  Talk about timing!  It has been over a year since God answered my prayers for children.  Bare in mind that those prayers were prayed for over 15 years.  Sometimes God just wants to know he's enough and that we are going to love, serve and honor him . . . no matter what.  I am still a barren wife, but through God's grace, I am now a mother, celebrating my very first mother's day.  Yes!  God is good!

Posted In:   Walking Worthy

Yay! We're Number 23!